NO!!!

Dear My Perspective,

One of the most hardest things for me to do, is to say NO. I always feel that if I say no, its going to come back on me, somehow I will need that person later, and they will use it against me. People have no problem saying no to me, and I feel as if everyone takes advantage of me because I don't know how to say "no". What can I do?

Signed,
Yes-Girl

Dear Yes-Girl,

How easy it is to say "no" is a reflection of one's personality. If you are introverted, its even harder to say "no", mostly because you lack constant communication with someone, introverts often prefer to be alone, and if you are socially awkward or a misanthrope, its also tough to say no.

When you say "no" and it upsets people, it often shows that they were only around, to use you.

In order to learn how to say no, its important to start relying on yourself as much as possible. The last thing you want to deal with is someone using something over your head.

Its also important to become comfortable with yourself. Often those who have the tendency to say "yes" when they mean "no", are often vying to be accepted, and are scared of being alone. Its important to face that, and accept isolation is possible. Saying "no" weeds out the real friends and fake.

You must also become firm in your "no". People can sense uncertainty in your voice and use that to manipulate you into saying no.

Once people know you will stand no more, and become strong in your convictions, people will either accept you for it or will back off and leave.

You may feel thats bad, but what really is bad, is thinking certain people are your friend, when they really are not.