Denying and Derailing.

Dear My Perspective,

I am a minority, I live in a town mostly white. I am surrounded by whites, and most of the people I talk to are white. The problem is, when I talk about racism, and what I have to deal with, they deny that racism exists, and say its all in my head. Sometimes some white people would try to turn the tables around and say I was racist for saying they or someone else was racist. I am starting to trust white people as a whole less, because they seem so blind by reality. It makes me miserable. I can't force them to see the truth...but they don't realize how much their denying racism hurts me. I get accused of playing the race card when I am not. I am simply talking of experiences I have had. Yet they continue to deny that racism exists. People are always spouting racial stereotypes as if its okay. Whenever I do anything, they say its because of my race. When someone of my race does something wrong, they treat me as if I did it too, when I didn't.

I dont know what to do. Can you give me any advice?

signed,
Stuck in the Racist Suburbs

Dear Stuck in the Racist Suburbs,

Often people play the "deny and derail" tactics, to try to stop you from talking of your experiences. When you talk about whites who are racist, they start to talk about blacks who are racist. That shows that they are either racist themselves, or they condone it. Someone who was living in the real world, would have no reason to change the topic, unless they shared the same feelings.

The world tries to teach that one should be colorblind. But being colorblind is useless if racism still exists. When you are a minority, you have to learn early on that equality does not exist, nor does a colorblind society. Racism is strong out there. Alot of people deny it, and find any excuse to discredit someone's experiences. But all you can do is keep bringing it up. When they try to derail, stop and say "We are talking about me, and my experiences, if you cant stay on the topic, then that is just telling me you condone racism."

What you must do, is research as many dodges there are that people use, to keep people from trying to derail the discussion.

You will have to learn in life, that you just cant naturally trust people. As a minority, you do not have the luxury of pretending racism doesn't exist.

Tell people that if you keep denying reality, you will only make things worse. Do not associate with people that tell you your experiences aren't real. They are not a good influence, and are only part of the problem.

Racism has become more closeted and subtle. Its hard to be a minority in America, especially since racism is still socially acceptable.

You can't force people to see reality, but you don't have to stop talking about your experiences. Just take note of who is racist or supports racism.