Biracial.

Dear My Perspective,

I Know you are a biracial so, I thought you could help me. I am not accepted by either blacks or whites. White people say that because I am half black, I do not belong, but to black people, I am too white to them. I get called slurs on both ends. I hate getting dirty looks. Whenever I say I am biracial to blacks, they look at me and accuse me of being embarrassed of being black. Sometimes it offends me when black people say we are all mixed, because that marginalizes what I have to go through personally. I just don't know what to do.

Signed,
Biracial Mess

Dear Biracial Mess,

It can be tough when neither side accepts you. At times one can't help but feel like they must overcompensate for being half and half. But you should always just stay who you are. If you are girly around white people, be girly around blacks. Its a good way to find out who is worth being in your life. When you are mixed and don't live in a diverse area, you can't help but feel isolated. It is important to learn how to find happiness without the need of people. If whites and blacks want to make fun of you for being biracial, that is their hang up. You can't change who you are. Don't allow yourself to show emotion to the harsh words and mistreatment. When you show your vulnerability its a sign to them that they have got you where they want you.

As for the "I am mixed when I am actually not" thing. I understand you there, it has always annoyed me when people say "we are all mixed". Tell them that there is a difference between being directly mixed and indirectly mixed. Directly means, that one parent is one race, the other is another race. Indirectly means, that generations ago, someone was race mixing. They are by far two very different things. By having 2 parents of a different race (whether in your life or not), you have to deal with emotions, mono-racial people will never have to face. There is also another fake mixing that people do, this one is done more by whites than blacks, and its where people name off all thei nationalities. Nationalities do not equate to race.